YuGiOh: The Real Story
by mypandas7
Summary: Ok, basically, it's how Yu-Gi-Oh would be if I owned it so you know it's funny.
1. GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAKS!

Yu-Gi-Oh: The Real Story

"Check it out! A new fiction! Have you ever asked yourself what really happened in the Yu-GI-Oh series? Well, this is my version of it. If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh (Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh), This is what It'd be like," Chaos announced.

One day, Yugi Motto awoke one morning to find his Grandpa face to face with him, grinning as if on sugar high.

"HI YUGI!!!" he screamed, "LOOK WHAT I GOT FOR MYSELF IN EGYPT!!!" Mr. Motto held up a millennium puzzle.

"Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhh!!! GIVE ME!!" Yugi reached for the box and took it for himself.

Mr. Motto took it back, "I told you, it's for ME!"

"Well then... I must believe in... The HEART OF THE FIST!! DIE GRANDPA!!!" with that, Yugi punched his Grandpa and took the Puzzle, "Hehehehehehe! A puzzle! Wait... I hate puzzles! DIE PUZZLE!" Yugi took one of the puzzle pieces and threw it in the lake.

Joey popped out of a nearby bush, "Don't worry, Yug. I'll retrieve your puzzle piece!" Joey screamed and dove for the puzzle piece.

"Who the hell are you? And how long have you been hiding behind that bush?" Yugi asks.

Tristin appears out of nowhere beside Yugi, "And I'll put your puzzle together!" Tristin took the puzzle and put it together.

"No! Wait! You two dorks are wasting your time! I don't want the damn thing!" Yugi tried to stop them but was too short and weak to do so.

Tea popped out of nowhere, "Friends!"

"Who the hell are you?"

"Friends!"

"Yug, I got your puzzle piece!" Joey said soaking wet.

"And I finished your puzzle!" Tristin said holding up the finished puzzle.

"Friends!"

Yugi's mouth dropped open, "Who are you psycho dorks?"

"I'm Joey Wheeler, dis is Tristin, an' dat girl over der is Tea. We're here ta help you fight evil an' save the world!"

Ok, you must REVIEW in order to find out what else really happened. So, REVIEW!!!


	2. Yami?

"Well, I'm going to continue Yu-Gi-Oh: The Real Story because it's obviously one of my more popular fictions. Sorry about the long update, but that's only because of my stupid play (devil's play) called Godspell. Wondies. Ok, let's get this fiction started! YAYNESS!" Chaos (isn't that an awesome name?) said.

Disclaimer: don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. But I do own my word "Wondies" It's my way of saying 'wonderful'

"Who said I even WANT help? And save the world? Puh-lease. I think the world should die," Yugi said.

A bully person thing came out of nowhere. He stole the puzzle out of Tristin's hands and started taunting Yugi, "Oh, does the baby want his puzzle?"

"WHO SAID I WANTED IT???" Yugi screamed in frustration.

"I'll get it, Yugi!" Joey lunged at the bully and somehow blasted the bully out the window, started a fire, and chained the puzzle to the wall.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FRIENDS!" Tea ran away screaming.

Yugi tried to make an escape but Tristin stopped him.

"You say you can't leave without your puzzle? I'll help you get it!" Joey said as he tried to pull it off the wall.

"NO!!! I SAID I DON'T WANT IT!!! I DIDN'T EVEN SAY I NEEDED HELP SAVING THAT EVIL PUZZLE!!!" Yugi said as he was loosing his chance to live.

"You need help saving your puzzle? I'll help pull too!" Tristin grabbed the puzzle along with Joey and they tried to pull the puzzle off the wall.

"YOU GUYS ARE THROWING YOUR LIVES AWAY FOR THAT STUPID PUZZLE???" Yugi screamed in confusion.

The two idiots wouldn't stop pulling so Yugi helped them in defeat. They all pulled it off the wall and Tristin used Joey as a shield against the fire.

They made it out safely just to meet Tea, "FRIENDS!!"

"Okay, I'll see you dorks later," Yugi started walking away.

Joey stopped him, "But, Yug, we've been trew so much togetta. We're friends now."

"BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU FREAKS!!!" Yugi said.

"That doesn't matter. Here, put this on. I think it'll make you feel better," Tristin said as he forced the millennium puzzle around Yugi's neck

YU-GI-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

"Who said that?" Yugi looked around frantically.

/Why, it's Me./

"Who?"

/Your Yami. The former pharaoh of Egypt. /

"IT'S FINNLLY HAPPENING!!! THE GOVERNMENT IS COMMUNICATING WITH ME THROUGH MY THOUGHTS!!!" Yugi screamed and a few people stopped and looked at him.

/NO! I'm the spirit of the Millennium Puzzle. I have amnesia and need help to regain my memories of ancient Egypt. /

"Oh.... HELP!! EVIL GHOST MUMMY!!"

/Stop that!! I need your help to save the world. /

"What the heck? You to? Freak."

/You must duel with the heart of the cards. /

"No thanks. I'm comfortable with the heart of the fist."

/WOW!! You know the ancient art of 'heart of the fist'? You have surpassed me in many ways. You truly are the king of games. Teach me, o great one, of the ways of the fist. /

"Now that's more like it!"

/You know, you don't have to talk physically. I can read your thoughts so you can communicate with me mentally. /

"Oh, so you don't want to learn the heart of the fist?"

/I'M SORRY MASTER!!! I'LL BE GOOD!!! /

"Good. Okay, first you must find a weak and defenseless victim and then..."

"Yug! I just went by your grandpa's store and..." Joey said.

"Wait a minute... How'd you do that? You were here the whole time," Yugi remarked.

Joey ignored him, "...Kaiba is at the store!"

"Kaiba??" Yugi screamed.

So the four friends.... And Tea.... Raced off to the game shop.

(Four friends consist of Yugi, Yami, Tristin, and Joey.)

Joey jumped through the window of the game shop and pointed accusingly at Kaiba, "SEE! DER HE IS!!"

"Oh... Hello..." Kaiba remarked.

"Well, I don't feel like typing anymore (or is it just because I want to annoy you....?) so I'll stop now. BYE!! RRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


	3. Yugi and Kaiba's duel thingy

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

Kaiba stood there in front of Tristin, Tea, Joey, and Yugi. Kaiba was gripping Mr. Mutou by the neck.

"YES!!! GRANDPA IS DYING!!" Yugi shouts.

"Yugi, that's a bad thing…" Tristin says quietly.

"Give me your Blue Eyes White Dragon card and I'll let you live," Seto said calmly.

"NO! It's a rare card! I'll never give up something so priceless!" Mr. Mutou said.

"Then I'll just have to mug you and steal your card. DIE!" with that, Kaiba punched the old man (and I mean OLD), grabbed the card, and jumped through another window.

Yugi is in distress, "NOOOOOOOO!! WHYYYYYYY??? We have to go after Kaiba and get the card back. I'll never let some lunatic steal something of value from ME. Especially a RICH lunatic. Screw you, old man," and Yugi jumped out a window that wasn't broken yet (JEEZ! How many windows do they have???) and ran after Kaiba.

They soon arrived at wherever Kaiba was (Probably some old shack or whatever…) and broke down the door.

"KAIBA!! Duel me for the Blue Eyes White Dragon card with this duel deck that I stole from the old man still laying in my game shop!"

"You mean your Grandpa?" Kaiba asked.

"Yeah, whatever. Now duel me for that card!!"

Kaiba takes out card, "You mean THIS card?" and he ripped it in half. Then he went psycho and ate the card.

"You'll pay for that…" Yugi said and the duel began.

Almost instantly, Yugi summoned Exodia (I don't care how you spell it, ok?) and beat Kaiba's three Blue Eyes that he summoned almost instantly.

Kaiba is now in shock and will die eventually because he no longer has a will to eat. (HAHA! DIE!)

Yugi tried to tape up the card and sell it on e-bay, but no one wanted a ripped Blue Eyes card.

"Kaiba, you will pay for what you cost me!"

Kaiba is in shock.

"Now give me $122,345!"

"Yugi, we're in Japan, we pay with yen…" Tristin corrected again.

"TOO BAD!!"

Kaiba is still in shock.

"Let's go, Kaiba's just going to sit there with his mouth open until he dies…"

REVIEW!!! And, sorry for the short update after such a long period of waiting… REVIEW!!


	4. Pegasusneed I say more?

Yu-Gi-Oh: The Real Story

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. But if I did, I'd be rich and I probably wouldn't be here right now (Hmm… never thought about it that way until now…) and I probably wouldn't be writing any fictions because if I did a disclaimer for something I owned, then wouldn't it not be mine anymore? And if I didn't do any disclaimers then people would be like, "Whoa! She owns Yu-Gi-Oh! Let's e-mail her everyday until she gives us free Yu-Gi-Oh stuff!"

Anyways, the gang just beat Kaiba and now he is in shock and is not willing to eat anything. (XD)

"So, Yugi, what are we going to do now?" Tristin asked.

"Err… you could go home," Yugi replied hopefully.

"FRIENDS!!" Tea popped out from nowhere.

Joey has just been thinking (aren't there laws against that?), "I want to learn how to play cards as well as you, Yugi."

Yugi snorts in his geeky laughter, "You can't play as good as me. I'm the best at Stu-Pi-Doh – I mean… Dueling… yes…that's right…dueling…"

Joey looks at him with puppy-dog eyes, "Pllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaassseeeee?"

Yugi, "Fine… I'll teach you. All you have to do, is get a combination of magic, trap, and monster cards. Then, when your opponent thinks they've won, you run over to them, yelling at the top of your lungs 'heart of the fist', then punch them out, steal their cards and any other value they might have and run for your life."

"Yes, sensei."

"Don't call me that."

"Yes, sensei."

"DIE!!" Yugi punches Joey with the heart of the fist technique.

Meanwhile…

Seto just stood there. Mouth open wide. When all of a sudden, birds come flying above him and poo in his mouth.

"CRAP!! WHAT THE HELL???" Seto runs around screaming and trying to spit out the crap.

"Must…get…food…to wash out….bad-tasting crap…" So, Kaiba sets out to find food. (So much for my idea to starve him…)

Anyways, I didn't mean to scare off my reviewers, if that scarred your minds forever, but now we're going back to the original plot. (HA! There is no plot.)

So, Joey learned of the heart of the fist. He is now an expert duelist and the "gang" is heading for Yugi's house/shop thing.

"Hold on you guys, I gotta check my mail. opens mail box Bill, bill, bill, junk, bill, junk, bill, bill, hey. What's this? OO! It's addressed to me! YAY! Hmm? What the hell? JOEY!! What is this thing addressed to you doing in my mail box?" Yugi shouted.

Joey grabs it and runs inside. And by "running" I mean taking two steps that are leading into a run but then he trips, tumbles through the doorway and trips "Grandpa".

The rest of them go in the house and sit at the kitchen table.

"Open it, Yugi!" Tristin is excited (Whoa, don't get TOO excited. XD)

Yugi opens it and finds a tape. (I think you all know where this is going.)

Joey comes back from wherever he went and sits with the rest, "OOO!! Let's watch it! Let's watch it!!"

So, Grandpa pops it into the VCR and all five of them watch it.

Pegasus's face pops up and time stops.

"WHOA!! Why's everything all black and white?" Yugi runs over and pokes Tea. Then Joey. Then Tristin. Finally his grandpa.

"I challenge you to a duel through the TV, Yugi boy," Pegasus says through the TV.

Yugi holds his head and is about to fall down, "Whoa! I think I had a little too much beer. Maybe I should stop… Nah!"

"HEY! I drink too!" Pegasus waves his arms around gaily (XD) and shouts at the top of his lungs to Yugi.

Yugi stares at him in horror, "Okay…. Maybe I SHOULD stop drinking…."

Pegasus puts on his "serious face" again, "I challenge you to a duel, Yugi boy."

"Forget it, you dork."

"What if I…. STEAL YOUR GRANDPA'S SOUL???" Grandpa's soul is extracted from his body and is sucked into the TV.

"YAY!!"

Pegasus is confused, "Huh?"

"The old fart's gone! O HAPPY DAY!!" (Yup, he DID have too much to drink.)

"Well… If you want him back, come to Duelist Kingdom and battle for his soul. Err… BIE!!" then the room went back to colorful form and Grandpa fainted.

"Grandpa, gimme your deck and car. Grandpa? Grandpa?? GRANDPA?? GRANDPA!!!!!" dramatic ending

Wow… This chapter SUCKED!! Anyways, review or else you will perish in the firey pits of Hades. So, review or else… thinks …..NO MORE YU-GI-OH: THE REAL STORY!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! REVIEW


	5. The Boat

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

Okay, so Grandpa's soul was just extracted from his body, Joey got a tape delivered to Yugi's house, and there was a dramatic ending.

"No! I need him for money and crap!" Yugi ran around screaming.

Joey slowly walks upstairs and nobody notices him. He takes out the package that he hid earlier and pops it in the upstairs TV. (It's a videotape if you haven't already figured that out.)

Serenity's face appears on the screen, "Well, big brother, I'm losing my eyesight. You probably won't see me ever again. So this is the last time you'll ever get a chance to look at your sister again."

Stifled laughter could be heard in the background, but Joey thought it was crying or whatever because he's stupid (And that's why we "love" him.)

Serentiy tried to hide her mouth as she whisper to the people who were laughing, "Shut up! If you want him to send us money you have to make this look real!"

She turned back to Joey and said, "I'm going to miss you, big brother. Oh! And the operation is in Domino City. Good bye." Serenity had tears in her eyes from laughter, but Joey (Dense as always…) thought she was crying from sadness.

So, Joey went back downstairs in time to watch Yugi running around in circles yelling, "OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP!"

"Hey, Joey. Lookit what I found in the same box as that video!" Tristan held up a glove, two star thingies, and a pamphlet all about "Duelist Kingdom". "This glove will never be in style." (True dat!)

Joey runs over and grabs it, "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… Mmmmoooooooooonnnnnnneeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy…"

Everyone backs away slowly as Joey drools over the prize money.

Meanwhile at Kaiba Corp

Some peeps enter Seto's office and demand a raise. "For the last time… I DON'T CARE! Get out of my office!"

Big Five Member #1, "What if we don't wanna?"

Kaiba sighs, "You're all fired." And he goes back to work. (Well, that was quick…)

As the Big Five leave the office, Big Five Member #4 whips out his cell phone and calls Pegasus.

"Hello! And welcome to: You Called A Gay Guy!"

"Err… right… Mr. Pegasus, we'd like to organize a bargain with you that is too serious and complex for this story."

"I'm down wit dat."

Big Five Member #4 clears his thought and continues, "Eh-HEM! Err… Right… We're going to steal Mokuba, attempt to kill Kaiba, and other things that will eventually lead to our doom. BYE!"

Mokuba walks by eating ice cream and other unhealthy, sugar-infested goodness. "Hey guys! slurpsmacksmack What are slurpslurp you doing in the crunchcrunch hallway?"

"Get him!" Big Five Member #2 shouts. So they gag him and stuff him in a bag while Seto watches from the office.

Seto's thoughts: 'Hmmm… I wonder what I'm having for dinner tonight… I hope I'm not ignoring something REALLY important that might lead to my downfall and such…' (Kaiba, you idiot!)

Anyways…

Yugi and the gang are headed to the ship that was taking all the duelists to the island with no food, shelter, or anything of survival needs except in the castle. (Maybe THAT'S why everyone wants to be a "finalist")

Joey drags Yugi over to the side and whispers to him, "Okay, Yug, here's how we'll get on the friggn' ship. You stuff me in a suitcase and haul me onboard. Once there, we mug a kid for his glove and star chips and toss him off board."

"Joey, we COULD just… you know… share mine."

"Yug that totally sounded gay. Anyways, let's mug that kid over there." Joey goes over, punches him, takes his star chips and such (Money too) and throws him over the dock into the black sea (Considering this is a "night scene" everything's all dark and black as my soul.)

As Joey returns from his adventure to seek out helpless and defenseless kids to mug and then steal all their positions, Yugi sweatdrops. "Joey, you DO realize you totally abandoned your last plan right?"

"Oh! That? Nah… Tristin and Téa are using that plan. I secretly told them while the audience was distracted with me being … me being… me…. Ummmm…"

"An idiot?"

"Yeah! That's the word I'm looking for. Anyways, Téa's in this one. Here. And I'll be taking Tristin."

They both walk onboard and show their star chips and duelist gloves and get on the ship. They unload their stuff in their rooms and meet each other on the docks.

"So, Joey, why DID you want to enter this contest?" Yugi asks.

"Oh, umn… Y'see I have this little sister. She's always had bad eyesight (A/N: Actually, she's been planning this for ages. She's just been pretending to be blind and such.) and I really want her to have a normal life. So I need the money from the tournament to save her and … and… and… erm…" Joey started forgetting again. (So what else is new?)

Just then, someone was walking toward them. You could only see their shadow, but it made Yugi and Joey wary. So they hid among the barrels and peeked over. All they could see was the back of the person and very white hair. Just then, Joey leaped out and was about to attack the defenseless albino. "Joey! No!" Yugi yelled to him, "That's Ryou!"

But it was all too late. Ryou turned around and saw Joey lunging at him (Claws and teeth bared and everything) and they both went tumbling into the water below. Then, what's-his-name came in, took Yugi's Exodia cards and tossed them overboard and ran off laughing hysterically. Yugi dashed over to the side of the ship and started yelling to Joey and Ryou to grab his cards before they were ruined or eaten or something of the sort.

When Joey and Ryou were hoisted aboard, they gave the five, soaked cards to Yugi. Yugi cried. I was happy. Anyways, he tried to sell them on Ebay, but it didn't sell very well. It was just as successful as the Blue Eyes White Dragon incident.

"So anyways, Ryou. What are YOU doing on this ship? Are you a stowaway like Tristin and Téa?" Joey asked.

"Well, no. I'm a duelist; like you." Ryou answered in his thick British accent.

Yugi started speaking, "You know… that reminds me… did we ever let Téa and Tristin out of the suitcases?"

Back in the rooms…

Muffled screams and threats seemed to be coming from the suitcases.

Back to the ship thing…

"Nah… they're fine. I'm sure we let them out." Joey assured Yugi (What? Are you crazy, Yugi? NEVER trust Joey!)

To Mai's room…

Mai is a beautiful girl with long, golden hair, violet eyes, and a temper that's worse than Joey. (That's scary….) Anyways, right now she is making a bet with some guy with purple bangs.

"So, if I win, you clear out of here and I get the apartment. If you win, I'll give you a kiss. Deal?" Mai bargained.

"Yeah…sure…" Rex was too drunk with his pervertiveness to actually think straight. So in the end, he lost humiliatingly and was chucked out by Mai.

Well, I'm board. I'm going to end it here. Let the "fun" begin in the next chapter. Bye! And don't forget to REVIEW! R-E-V-I-E-W! Jeez! Do I REALLY need to spell it out for you?


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